It’s the holiday season so I’m guessing that most of you will be spending this weekend with family members. That wouldn’t be a problem for me since my family is awesome, both immediate and extended. My parents are Adventists, my step-siblings and my sister are nominal Christians, and my brothers and I are atheists. My aunts and uncles are all still Adventists, but most of my cousins aren’t, they ranging from backsliders and members of other denominations to non-believers. As a result of the religious diversity in my generation and the fact that I am second youngest of that generation, my family is loving and accepting of those of us who don’t share the faith of our ancestors.

So what if you’re the only one in your family who’s an atheist? Odds are pretty good that you can expect a lot of flack for it, but have some backbone and stand up for yourself and any other relatives who may be atheists themselves now or in the future. My oldest brother did much of that groundwork in my family and for that I am grateful, however my family was open and accepting enough to not shut him out or restrict his access to his little brother (me). By the time I lost my faith everyone in the family already had 15 years to figure out how to relate to godless heathens like us.

If the topic of religion comes up at a family event, as it very well may do in the spirit of the Christianized pagan holiday we have two days away, then speak up. If it’s just a family tradition of something like reading the nativity story, then you can feel free to be quiet and try to enjoy the myth or try to tune it out while you read your favorite atheist blog on your phone, but if it’s something more blatant, something like “Why do those damn atheists have to keep waging a war on Christmas?” Then answer the question. Explain some of the history (like how it wasn’t a federal holiday until the 1870s) and remind them of the establishment clause of the Constitution and the Treaty of Tripoli that clearly states that the US was not founded as a Christian nation and that the government shouldn’t be involved in pushing the dogma of one religion on the rest of us. Nobody as an issue with what private citizens do on private property, but when it’s the actions or approval of government officials and using their public office or public land, then that’s a different story.

If there’s a statement like, “Let’s not forget the reason of the season,” respond with something along the lines of, “Oh, you mean the winter solstice?” Don’t be a dick about it, but don’t let historically or legally inaccurate statements that denigrate you and all the rest of atheists slide.

Sure it’ll be awkward and you’ll get dirty looks and passionate arguments. Just keep to the facts, keep your cool, and stand your ground. By doing that your family will be less likely to try to cram religion down your throat next time. If they completely over react, just remember that losing an asshole from your life is a win and keep being a loving awesome person that would make it worth while for them to come back to accepting.

Of course if you are financially dependent on your family and fear that they might cut you off, then keep your goddamn mouth shut. You’ll have plenty of time to make a principled ass of yourself when you are independent of them.