In the theistic cosmic saga,* Satan served at the right hand of God. He was the highest of the angles. Then he started to think of himself as more than the just the lowly slave of the king, and thought that perhaps he should have a say, or at least a voice, in the decisions that were being made. This didn’t work for God, the divine autocrat, so Satan was expelled and his sympathizers with him.

In the Garden of Eden, Satan tempts Eve with the fruit from the tree of “The Knowledge of Good and Evil.” In that encounter he is labeled as a deceiver who led to the fall of humanity. We all face pain and death because Satan tempted Eve with knowledge.

To some people today earthquakes, tsunamis, and hurricanes aren’t natural distastes, or even acts of God, they’re acts of demons. That’s right, Satan did it.

Some creationists think that during the flood Satan’s the one who layered the bones so that once they fossilized they would form the geological record that deceives scientists (as if that’s the only evidence for evolution).

Satan tempts you to masturbate. He whispers thoughts in your ear that makes you doubt yourself causing self esteem issues and depression. Satan is the one who gives people doubts about God. Atheists are really just under Satan’s control, the poor schmucks.

The Bible says that your either for Christ or against him. Satan is against Christ, so Christians have created a dichotomy that all who are not on their side are on Satan’s side.

That’s about as much bull shit I can stomach…

The mythic character Satan is a powerful tool used by conservative Christians to trap the minds of those yearning to be free. There’s a reason that a group of atheists known as LaVeyan Satanism view Satan as a mascot.  In the biblical saga he was the only one who had the balls to rebel openly against the tyranny of Yahweh and he’s the one who encourages freethought and the quest for knowledge.

It is a twisted scheme to assign all disease, suffering, and death in this world to one character and then align all who actually think for themselves with this mythic supervilan. I wouldn’t have hung on to my faith as long as I did if it hadn’t been for the fear that my doubts might have come from Satan and I’m sure there are many in that same boat. To flat out reject true knowledge and study as being the work of the bad guy is to encourage ignorance, irrational denial of facts, and cognitive dissonance.

The biblical character of Satan sounds like a pretty decent guy. It’s the people who use that character to trap people who are evil.

Part three of this series will be on how Christianity needs hell.

*A few details may be unique to the Seventh-day Adventist Great Controversy model, but they made for a better story.