Lighthouses > Churches – Saudi SMS, Demon Sex, & Cenk Uygur

WMW?!
Where’s My Wife?! I’m just trying to give this new program in Saudi Arabia a catchy name in case anyone wants to implement it here. Got a feeling this just might attract the attention of people all over the world that think this would be a boon to society.

In a move to be protective towards women, the Saudi government is using both the infamous “yellow slip” permission forms that husbands give to their wives to travel. And, just in case some horrible man faked the yellow slip, the government also send a SMS text message to the woman’s guardian (read: husband, father, brother, or pretty much any male relative) when ever she attempts to cross any checkpoint leaving the country. Even if the woman is sitting behind her husband in the car.

This has a lot of great uses. In fact, want to have some fun? Send your wife to England for a shopping spree! But wait, she did not do all of her chores? Reply to the text message saying she does not have permission to leave. Let her get ten lashes. That’ll teach her.  Want to show your wife, sister, and mother that you trust them?  Make sure they are on the list to be reported in case they feel like going out of their prison house.

Goddamn.

 

Demon Sex Makes Ya Gay
No, seriously. Stop Laughing! It’s true… I read it on the Internet! On the Christian website CharismaMag.com, Cedric Harmon writes there are a host of demons that want to attack you through your private parts. Cedric goes on to write,

Sometimes they also lure people into homosexual behavior.

That’s right. Same gendered ghost-demon sex might turn you into some hell spawn possessed LGBT person. I have a feeling that was the first line Cedric wrote for that article. I bet he was proud of it too.

It seems there are many kinds of sex demons, but Cedric only mentioned two most common. First, the male sex demon known as the incubus and it’s female counterpart, the succubus. These real demons are not possessing the bodies of other humans to physically rape a person as best as I can tell. We are talking about non-corporeal beings going around raping people. Contessa Adams, a former stripper turned ministry leader and author of the book Consequences said,

Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you … they’re worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people. Unless you’re strong enough to rebuke it, [the demons will] keep coming back. You must speak the Word of God, knowing you have power in the name of Jesus.

Where are the Ghostbusters when you need them?

Eddie Smith is the president of U.S. Prayer Track and the leader of a deliverance ministry. Eddie seems to think demons raping people is all too real. Eddie and his wife Alice, have ministered to “at least hundreds” of people suffering from demonic sexual attacks.

Eddie said, “Many people don’t realize that there is even historic documentation of this.” He mentions ‘pagan religions’ such as Santeria and voodoo – religions that invoke demons to do their bidding. Both of those religions have their roots in African religions, but what he doesn’t mention is they draw a lot from Roman Catholic Christianity as well.

These delusional people are in need of professional help. Probably medical help as well. Yeah, I’m poking fun at them, but they really need clarity in their life. If you know people like the ones above, they are sick. If you think you can talk them into visiting a professional, please do it.

 

Time is Rant:30
Cenk Uygur from The Young Turks rips it up… They have a great YouTube channel, too. Check them out.

 

~Wesley

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