At my family reunion I heard a story about someone getting up and walking out of the room when at her boyfriend’s parent’s house and his daughter was saying the blessing. Of course that ended the relationship. I was the first to respond to the story with something like, “That’s not a good way to respond.”

At family events over the last five years some have had public prayers before meals, others have not. When there aren’t I dig in and start eating. When there are I keep my head up, hat on (if I’m wearing one), and eyes open. It’s usually pretty interesting to look around and see who’s doing the same.

Periodically there’s a debate about whether atheists should be accommodationalists or firebrands. We obviously need both as far as the public personalities go, but what about in our day to day lives?

I think we should be both. If it’s a case where it’s something as innocuous as someone saying the blessing at a family reunion or when your a guest at someone else’s table, then keep your mouth shut. If on the other hand someone’s trying to silence or guilt you, then hold your ground and fight back, but try to understand where their coming from.

For example, there are a lot of believers who find the mere existence of atheists to be insulting, just look at the responses to billboards. That’s probably coming from an uncertainty in their own beliefs that leaves them feeling like your calling them stupid. You obviously aren’t, your just stating what you believe while making no statement about them.

A lot of times loved ones will find reminders of your atheism to be hurtful, something that is unfortunately quite understandable. They love you and want to spend eternity with you, so it’s coming from a place of love. However, we have a right to express ourselves as much as they do, so if the the result is manipulative guilt tripping you can’t stand for it.

The key thing is to give more leeway to those you care about than you do to those you don’t, but stand your ground and avoid being an ass if you can avoid it.