Let’s only waste our time on the serious contenders:

Mit Romney – Former corporate executive who would buy businesses, gut them, and then have them declare bankruptcy. His record as Governor of Massachusetts was quite moderate, he was pro-choice and it was his plan that the national health care reform act (Obamacare) was based on.Since announcing his candidacy he had come out as staunchly pro-life against marriage equality, and has tried to distance himself from his own health care reform. I know just about all political are sleazeballs, but Romney isn’t even trying to show any integrity.

Michelle Bachmann – Congresswoman from Minnesota with no legitimate experience to qualify her for president. She goes beyond being against marriage equality, she’s just straight up anti-gay. Now, it’s somewhat understanding, she’s an evangelical dominionist who’s married to a psychologist who tries so hard to talk and pray away the gay, of course everybody’s gaydar goes off the charts when it comes to him.

Rick Perry – Although he hasn’t officially announced his candidacy, it’s obvious to everyone that he will. This is the evangelical dominionist who recent admitted that he’s unable to fix his state’s problems, so now he wants to be unable to fix the nation’s.

This should be fun…