I hope you didn’t miss the recent news out of Salt Lake. The governor of Utah made some recent remarks that the president of the LDS church didn’t take kindly to. As a result, the prophet/president excommunicated the governor. Within hours the state legislature impeached the governor for his apostasy (after finding a 1895 statute allowing for removal of elected officials for such an offense), removed him from office, and ordered the state police to escort him out of the state with Nevada offering to take him in for his exile.

During the proceedings, the one member of the state legislature that objected was drug out to the temple and stoned to death. Since the mob was feeling just a little mercy they did allow him to get stoned before they stoned him.

The sucessor was sworn in, not by a judge at the governor’s mansion or the state capitol, but at the Mormon Temple by the church president. In his inaugeration speach, he stated that, “We’ve been kidding ourselves for far too long with this charade. We all know where the real power is in this state. We are a Mormon state and need to reclaim our people and our land from the heathen secularists.”

In his first offical act as governor, he annexed eastern Idaho and ordered the Utah National Guard to march on Idaho falls. In response the Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming National Guard have all been activated and sent out with hopes of meeting the newly named Mormon Army before they reach Idaho Falls.

If the Utah forces pervail, I just hope they don’t get greedy. It’s not that long of a trek down I-84 to get down to my place.

Did I say that was news? I meant, APRIL FOOLS!