This is the final post in our guide to losing your faith. We are to the part that is probably most different for each person, and in some cases the most difficult. If you are an atheist it will also likely be one of the few reasons you would even step foot in a church.

When I was a believer, Heaven never had much of a draw for me. It didn’t seem like the kind of place I would want to be. Sure the first few millennia would be fascinating assuming you were given the opportunity to learn every detail about the universe, but after that it would be boring. Who in their right mind would want to spend all eternity singing praises to an egotistical king?

My grandpa was a farmer who didn’t retire until he was 80 and a church elder. My grandma was an organist, pianist, nurse (got her LPN license when she was 49), and caregiver who likewise didn’t retire until around 80.

When I was young, when my family needed them most, they were there for us. My grandma always had cookies in the freezer (for freshness) and would patiently watch me if I got home from school before my mom got home from work. My grandpa gave me my first paying job (he gave me a dollar when I was 7 after helping (hindering) the progress of moving hand lines. When I was 6 my grandpa took me to the school’s father/child pumpkin carving and helped me use his trusty pocket knife. My grandparents are the greatest people I’ve ever known.

The day after their 70th wedding anniversary, after they finished eating breakfast my grandparents went back to the living room. My grandma sat in her chair and my grandpa gave her a kiss and told her he loved her. He then returned to his char and when he looked over at her and saw that something was horribly wrong. She had just had a massive stroke.

My grandma was a stubborn woman, and she hung on for five months. I didn’t say goodbye until after the funeral. That made closure just a little bit harder since it added some guilt. I know this was a very irrational guilt since the stroke left her in poor enough shape that going to see her wouldn’t have done much for her.

The pain associated with my loss of faith was still fresh enough that the eulogy got just preachy enough that I almost walked out during the middle of the funeral, I’m glad I didn’t. Ironically enough two years later at my grandpa’s funeral the same pastor gave almost the same homily and it didn’t bother me. Prospective really does help.

Over the next few days I stopped by the cemetery to say goodbye, spent time with family, and spent a lot of time out on the range off roading. I worked through what I needed to work through and life continued on.

To everybody’s surprise, my grandpa hung on for more than two years after that. I was fortunate to be able to have a lucid moment with him a week before he died where I could tell him how much he meant to me. Then a week later my mom called early in the morning to tell me that he had passed away.

Obviously it still hurt, but he hadn’t been doing very well towards the end and he wasn’t suffering anymore. My grandpa had lived the most full life imaginable. His legacy will live on through the example that he set for his children and grandchildren. The story of the greatest man I that I could ever have the privilege of knowing had come to a close.

Christianity offers a “to be continued” at the end of each person’s story, for an atheist we can see the story close with a “the end.”

For most Christians there is a belief that the person has either continued on to Heaven or Hell. I couldn’t imagine how you could get closure like that. It would seem to me that all it would do is prolong or suspend the grieving process since the person isn’t “really” dead.

For Adventists the deceased is “sleeping” in the ground awaiting the second coming. While this would allow for something closer to closure than dualists have, it still leaves it open. It’s not a final farewell, it’s more of an “I’ll see you soon.”

With my grandpa’s death it seemed that my brothers and I (all non-theists) had an easier time grieving compared to quite a few other family members. As it turns out there is a comfort in finality. For anyone losing their faith, take comfort in knowing that godless grief is still good.