Since I have had a few readers challenge science and reason recently, I thought that for this week’s Friday satire, I would like to present the alternative to the scientific method, skepticism, and yes, reason:

1. Belief in talking snakes and donkeys.
2. Belief in magical fruit.
3. Belief in a cosmic conspiracy that set up the geologic record and the rate of genomic variation between species perfectly to send scientists and their blind followers on a wild goose chase away from the truth.
4. Trusting Bronze and Iron age writings to be the ultimate source of knowledge about the world.
5. Defining “soon” as 2000+ years.

I’m sorry, but if it was talking dogs, magical beans, a grand government conspiracy, or the writings of any other Bronze or Iron age tribe then you’d think it’s funny too.